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3 Reasons Depression Is Worse for Young Adults–& How to Cope
By Erica | April 6, 2010
[ ALL GOOD THINGS ARE WILD & FREE ]
When I turned 13, I received not one, not two, but three remarkable presents from mother nature: My first ever period (!), a fairly shapely figure for a girl of 4’10″ & a pretty awful case of teen angst. This angst–which books, TV & my mother told me was “normal”–rapidly plummeted into a rage of uncontrollable emotions & self-loathing. I was the poster girl for “troubled teen.” I had anger, hate & rebellion dripping from every pore. The trouble was that I didn’t know it. I didn’t understand the demons in my mind were just that–demons and not myself or my true, beautiful, peaceful essence. I thought that feeling bad was just the way life is. I can blame my parents, my environment or a myriad of other sources for that, but blame doesn’t matter because of one simple truth: Depression is a disease. It’s called a “mental problem” for a reason–because it’s a problem that needs to, and can be with a little self-love & caring, solved.
But as a teen and young adult, depression can completely shake you to your core. In this post I’m going to share with you my reasons why I think this is–& also what we can do about it!
Reasons depression is harder on young adults:
1. You have nothing to compare your experience to. As a teen, your memories are limited. You might remember snippets from your childhood: Your mother reading you “Pat the Bunny,” or sinking your teeth into juicy pink watermelon & having seed-spitting contests with your brother. You might also vaguely remember some trauma, or the feeling of that trauma. But you’ve got so little life under your belt, that it’s super hard to gauge what your “normal” emotional response to various situations is. You aren’t aware of the way your mind works yet, and then depression hits you. It’s like reading a baby Shakespeare. The baby might coo & giggle & nod its head, but it doesn’t really comprehend what’s happening.
2. You don’t understand your symptoms. When someone (like a therapist, or family doctor, or any older adult) asks if you have “racing thoughts” or “feel sluggish,” sometimes the concept doesn’t make sense. If you’re an introvert like me, having a bunch of thoughts boomeranging around in your brain is pretty much the norm. And because young kids have enormous, bubbling amounts of energy, turning into a teen automatically zaps everyone of a lot of that youthful bounce.
3. It’s often glamorized. Today, you can open any fashion magazine or click on any style blog & a few things instantly jump out at you. One, the models are stick-thin. And two, they’re also almost always pouting, frowning or generally looking sad. Why are fashion mags projecting an image that in order to look posh, you have to be sad? It’s awful. But glamorizing sadness is hardly a new phenom. I remember reading Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar in high school & thinking how totally cool Esther–the neurotic writer-girl protagonist who slowly succumbs to madness in NYC after accepting an internship at a national mag– must have been in real life. And Edie Sedgwick in the movie Factory Girl! Forget the drugs & her ultimate demise, she sure looked fantastic in those black leotards & the black bags under her eyes complemented her unique look, actually. Really?
So, you get it. Depression sucks as a teen. As you also know, depression is a disease that loves to dwell. Instead of dwelling, I want to share some tips I have for coping with depression at a young age (or any age, really. It’s easy to forget this stuff!)
Know that life is supposed to be joyful.
Despite the way your parents act, despite the way the grumpy old guy at the gas station acts; you are supposed to–entitled to–be happy. You.are.allowed.to.be.happy. Write it on a Post-it & stick in your notebook, on your dashboard & on your laptop. Remember it. Happiness is the point.
Not everyone is thinking bad things about themselves–or you.
It’s a simple concept, but one that I think isn’t stressed enough. Nobody thinks exactly like anybody else. The thoughts in your mind (stuff like, “Omg! I look like shit today!”) are your own. Remember the same is true of everyone else. They’re not thinking about you & your life (& if they are, you’ll never know anyway). They’re probably thinking about the delicious avocado sandwich they are going to eat after school or worrying about finishing their math homework.
Change something.
I remember reading tons of information about depression as a teen. The suggestions were simple: “Join a club. Make new friends.” I always wanted to scream, It’s not that easy! Who wants to hang out with someone who is miserable? The truth is that you don’t need to make a huge change like completely uprooting yourself from your circle (unless they’re getting you in trouble, putting you down or unsupportive of your life) or moving towns. Change something within you. The next time you’re about to pull your own hair out over an argument with a friend, make a conscious effort not to expand that negative energy by yelling at your brother when he asks for a favor. Simple, tiny changes within yourself with tell your brain that you are a good person & that it is possible for you to change. Both of which are important positive thoughts to remember when you’re trying to beat depression.
What do you think? Is depression harder for teens & young adults? How do you deal with depression? What are some suggestions you’ve heard that work–& some that didn’t?
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