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Money vs. Experience: Where Do You Stand?
By Erica | July 7, 2010
So, remember that guy I was totally completely falling for? Well, despite the fact that I’m a self-declared nomad-type right now, we made it official. As in “In a Relationship” on Facebook official. As in, I have to see this person every night or I feel manic official.
Don’t get me wrong, this is great & all. It’s pretty amazing to feel such a connection with someone (especially after all the relationship drama I’ve been through!)
But (you knew this was coming, right?), I’m starting to notice all the fundamental things we don’t have in common. He likes staying up late, I like coming home early. He wakes up early morning with ease, I cry and complain when my alarm goes off. He can’t stand anything “girly,” and I’m the epitome of girldom (trashy reality TV & all!). But most of these things are easily remedied. He doesn’t sleep over on week nights. He watches Trailer Park Boys on my laptop while I watch my 3-hour Tuesday night reality show marathon (we talk during the commercials). He doesn’t ask me to stay out too late with his friends (instead, he passes out early & I proceed to write on his face in bright red lipstick. I don’t care how old you are–if you pass out in your shoes, it will not go unnoticed.)
But there is one radical difference between us: I value experience over money, and he values money over experience.
OK, maybe over isn’t the right word choice. But he definitely picks cash over carefree abandon on most occasions.
I recently read that money can buy happiness, if it’s spent correctly. How do you spend money correctly? By spending it on other things that make people generally happy, like experiences that bond you with others, make you laugh or create a more positive social support system.
I’m all for saving–as long as that saving eventually leads to splurging. I don’t mind being broke and unable to buy shoes or that extra soy frappuccino before (or after) a vacation. I don’t mind checking my balance every day while I’m visiting my girl in another state. If I have the money in my account to cover the short-term expenses, I don’t think twice. I travel. I break plans. I just do it.
The boyf, on the other hand, is much more practical. He makes lists (I’m not kidding–you should see the beauty he already crafted for our road trip next week!). He calculates expenses. He makes sure that he can afford to pay his bills on time (OK, I do that, too. But I don’t stress over being a few weeks late if it means I get to party it up in a hot dress in an even hotter city for a few sultry summer nights).
To sum it up: I live for new experiences. I crave them. If things in my life get a little slow, I will inevitably find a way to shake them up. It’s just my nature (& also what led me down some pretty destructive paths). But now that I understand this about myself, I’m willing to make small (monetary) sacrifices to sustain the level of experience in my life.
But what about everyone else? What do you value — or at least, focus on — more in life? Are you the saving type? The type who loaded the garage with canned goods at the turn of the millennium “just in case”? Or are you more like me — a little reckless perhaps — but far more interested in seizing the moment & dismissing potential consequences?
I think I’d probably benefit from a little stricter spending policy (or a higher paycheck). But I also believe it’s totally important — and acceptable — to let some things fall by the wayside in favor of a conceivably life-changing adventure.
How about you?
xoxo erica lee
P.S. Is anyone else having trouble directly accessing my blog? And BTW, I did convince my boyf to head out east with me to Camp Bisco in Mariaville, NY next weekend to see some really wild & wonderful bands — LCD Soundsystem, Ween, Bassnectar, Pretty Lights & the Disco Biscuits to name a few! I’ll try to document with a review & pictures (!!!)
Topics: Inspiration, Lifestyle | 5 Comments »
July 7th, 2010 at 2:25 pm
I loved this post. I’m a little bit more like your boy, but in pursuit of a life like you want.
I always save between 20 and 30 percent of my income, no matter what. With the remainder, I pay for all my bills, as well as good food, nice clothing, stuff for my dog, a neat apartment, the occasional road trip or concert ticket – all things that’ll make me happy. The ongoing 20-30% is split between long-term savings [ie, retirement, emergency fund] and savings for specific items [ie, a new MacBook, a deposit on a kickass NYC apartment, a trip abroad]. So if I’m on top of it, I save for all the items and experiences I want.
Like you, I’m not likely to pass up a last-minute chance for travel or fun. But like your boyfriend, I only do it if it’s on the cheap and won’t throw me off from my other goals [paying off my school debt, keeping my dog healthy]. Make sense?
I really love Ramit’s blog over at http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com – he talks about finance without the guilt that most PF bloggers have ["omg I'm NEVER going on vacation or buying lattes!"], and instead focuses on how to make choices that use your money to make you happiest.
July 8th, 2010 at 4:13 am
I have in the past valued money, but I’ve woken up – when someone asks to hear your stories they don’t want to hear about all the work you did and money you made (unless it really was epic). Plus, using your money to buy STUFF…well, that stuff gets old. Experience is forever.
July 8th, 2010 at 8:31 am
Money doesn’t really mean much to me, if I’m not enjoying life and I treat finances as a means to do the things I love. That’s my only real attachment to the greenbacks. While I know I have a lot to learn about money I certainly won’t let it run me.
July 9th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
@AmandaLee – I really admire the way you seem super practical, but also understand the importance of things other than money. If only I could implement a plan like yours. I’ve been using mint.com for awhile now & it’s helping…but I literally “feel money burning a hole in my pocket” more than anyone I know. Oh, and thanks so much for that link! I’ve added him to my reader. Maybe I’ll pick up some tips :)
@Joanne – Totally agree, girl. I literally have friends who, when I come over, show off all their NEW STUFF. Yet I never see them out (& I’m not just talking random nights out at the bar, but everything from bday parties to baby showers) because they “can’t afford it.”
@Fajr – Nice to see you back! :) I am also learning about money,–and maybe this is my issue with it–but it just doesn’t phase me like it does some people. I always seem to have enough of it without too much planning. And until that proves to be a problem, I’m going to continue to do as I please with it.
July 15th, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Definitely experiences, but I also do like to save at LEAST $40 a week, as some kind of ”back-up plan”! (I can’t help it, I’m a virgo!)