the elusive vision board via WeHeartIt

As a copywriter who spends her days making sure women entrepreneurs are presenting their best, sassiest selves online – I’m a huge fan of personal development. I know how hard it can be to be an entrepreneur, and I know it takes a shizz ton of inside work to make things look so damn easy on the outside. (They’re not.) (Don’t let anybody fool you.)

That said, I’ve fallen prey to misunderstanding personal development advice once or ten times – and it’s not been pretty. Here’s a quick look at a few ways all your leveling-up might be holding you down:

1. The Law of Attraction is Making You Lazy.

Not gonna lie: When I first heard about LOA, I was pretty convinced all I had to do was make a vision board & in a few months I’d be sittin’ pretty in a brand new Bentley & makin’ it rain in my mansion house.

Not. True.

You must meet the universe (more than) half way. You’ve got to do the work if you want the universe to do its part.

Translation? Quit wishing & start doing.

2. You Have (Really) High Expectations of Others.

When I first started doing things to improve myself – namely, reading loads of self help material about weeding the negative energy, people & situations from my life – I took it one step too far.

I started to look down on the people around me who “didn’t get it.” I started to doubt all my relationships & friendships & um, EVERYTHING ELSE EVER.

I think a lot of this stemmed from the fact that I was the only one I knew doing any “growth” work. Surround yourself with others who are going through the same things, yes, but don’t be so damn hard on everybody else. We are all on our own journeys, and just because your BFF’s doesn’t look just like yours doesn’t mean she isn’t worth the friendship.

You can be spiritual and want to grab a damn beer & pizza sometimes.
You can be spiritual and still find yourself annoyed at the morning commute.
You can even be spiritual and get angry at your mom. No. Really. (Warning: I do not recommend this last one.)

3. You’re Trying So Hard to Be Grateful for What You Have that You’re Ignoring Things that Really DO Need to Change.

When things got really bad in my relationship last year (as in financially, emotionally & spiritually), I tried to will it away by practicing gratitude for everything I did have.

There’s nothing wrong with gratitude. Please, don’t get me wrong.

The problem was that I was turning a blind eye to the real ish going on in my life because I had heard SO many times I needed to just be grateful and accepting and yadda yadda.

Yes. You do. There’s no point in complaining about something unless your’e going to change it.

BUT.

Sometimes things just SUCK. Sometimes you DO need to wallow in your sadness & cry & acknowledge that not everything is perfect.

Please, allow yourself that gift.

4. You’re Overspending in the Name of Self Care.

Oh em gee. This may be the worst thing I ever did. I remember around this time last year (when I was first starting to work in my business full-time), I decided I absolutely HAD to buy a monthly massage & facial package.

And monthly manicures.
And of course I “deserved” the new clothes & shoes & OH-PLEASE-JUST-ONE-MORE-ECOURSE.

I’m allllll about self care. Truly. I know how fucking important it is & I would never try to convince you otherwise.

But going into debt in the name of self care is like fighting for peace or fucking for virginity or eating fast food to stay alive.

It’s dumb. It’s counterintuitive. It just doesn’t make sense.

Take a cue from fellow biz lady Kate Northup, who explains in her book Money: A Love Story, that saving your dough is actually a way to show yourself you care. NOT having to scrounge your last pennies to pay for food or borrow moolah when your car breaks down shows you that you care about you.

Missing out on a mani won’t kill you. Having to walk to the grocery store in sub-zero weather might. (Just sayin’)

Your Turn! //

Have you ever taken personal development too far? What’s your least favorite piece of personal development advice – you know, the one that makes you scoff and get really angry inside ‘cause it’s such a load of bull? Share it in the comments!