by Erica | Sep 3, 2013 | Uncategorized
I’m not gonna lie: I’m a quitter.
Within the space of five years, I quit basketball. Soccer. Jazz dance. Honors classes.
I can’t really tell you why now. (Except when it comes to basketball. I’m 4’10” – and that’s reason enough.) I think (as I’ve mentioned before) that my childhood as a “gifted” child gave me some sort of complex against hard work. I truly believed if it was meant to be, I’d be awesome at it the first time. And I was heart-wrenchingly disappointed when I wasn’t.
So, I’d quit.
That said, I guess it should be no surprise that even though I’m obsessed with writing (always have been), there have been plenty of times I’ve wanted to throw in the towel on my business. Hurl my hands up in the air. Surrender, white flag waving. Head right back into my old corporate office. (Okay, cubicle.) (Okay, corner-that-was-specifically-mine.) (In their defense, they had a damn good salad bar that almost would make it worth it.)
But I think I’ve finally discovered the secret.
I don’t HAVE to be head-over-heels in love with what I’m doing, 100% of the time.
If I have a bad day here or there, it doesn’t mean I’m not meant to be doing what I’m doing.
EVERYBODY wants to quit sometimes.
The most successful, innovative, outstanding people out there have felt like saying “Fuck it.”
And maybe they even did say it.
For an hour. Or a day. Or a week.
…But then they came back to it.
And THIS is where the secret lies.
You wanna know WHY they came back?
Because the reason for doing whatever it is they’re doing is LARGER than the temporary discomfort they feel when things aren’t going their way.
We all know rationally that not everything comes up roses all the time.
But we still get thrown off when things don’t come easily.
We get pissed when we publish a blog post that took us three days to write & crickets chirp.
We get peeved when we launch some wildly fantastic & uber delicious idea – yet nobody bites.
We feel like failures if we’re not raking in five figures a month within our first year. (Aw, come on now!)
Sometimes, despite what people will tell you, LOVE just isn’t all you need, baby.
Sometimes, infatuation with what you do just isn’t enough to keep you going when the going gets choppy.
So, you need to know what ELSE motivates you to do what you do.
Enter, the “When I Want to Quit Remember This Sh*t” List.
I’ve heard the advice before. “Remember your WHY,” people often say. But remembering it and actually HAVING IT IN PHYSICAL FORM STARING BACK AT YOU DAY IN & DAY OUT is a totally different experience. So that’s why I now have a “When I Want to Quit Remember This Sh*t” list posted up on my desk, where it can’t be avoided or ignored.
I wrote mine last week. Here’s a peek:
When I want to quit, I will consciously remember the following…
+ How awesome it feels to be financially independent & stable (and the years I spent under the thumb of an ex who used cash to control me)
+ That by writing for other women entrepreneurs, I can give them that same financial freedom
+ How much the 9-5 sucks: the drive, the boredom, the stiff back at the end of the day, the BLINDING white lights, alla the pollitickin’, the total lack of value & feeling disposable (ick)
+ I was meant for this! I had an online ‘zine at age 10. I’ve wanted to be an Internet entrepreneur before anybody even knew what that was!
+ Everything always goes better than I think it will (read: People like me! They really like me!)
+ I’m helping others. My clients want to like and trust me. I’m making life easier for them!
+ Even writers need fresh eyes & ideas (read: Even if I think somebody’s copy already ROCKS and I can’t do anything for them, sometimes all they’re paying me for is a fresh perspective. Therefore, I don’t need to feel like I have nothing to offer to even the greatest writers in the world!)
And there you have it.
It’s nothing fancy. It probably didn’t take me more than five minutes to write. But it’s saved my ass multiple times during its one week of existence.
The reasons I listed weren’t random. They’re BIG. They’re soul-level stuff. They really speak to me, and I think that’s important if you’re going to make a list like this of your own. Usually by the time I get to item three, I’m already feeling a little bit better about tackling whatever hairy task is ahead of me.
So.
The lesson here?
Being cramazing (yes, that’s a mashup of crazy and amazing) isn’t about never feeling defeated.
It’s about feeling defeated but MOVING AHEAD anyway.
It’s about remembering why you do what you do. (Even if – for the moment – that’s just because you love seeing your name splashed across the Internet or the numbers crawling upwards in your bank account.)
Sometimes we need to take a look at the big picture to realize what a spectacular masterpiece we’re creating.
To Never Giving Up,
by Erica | Aug 22, 2013 | Mind, Spirit
Despite my best efforts (and believe me, I have MANY efforts), I still have bad days.
I’m an introspective, introverted & otherwise “sensitive” human being. I’m prone to the blues, every now & again.
I recently discovered this super-cool technique for meeting my emotions – and then eradicating them, in one fell swoop. In Tara Brach’s Meditations for Emotional Healing, she presents something called the “YES” meditation.
The “YES” Meditation is 15 minutes of allowing yourself to COMPLETELY feel whatever it is you’re feeling.
Often we don’t realize that we’re pushing negative emotions away. It’s a natural instinct: Nobody wants to feel pain! Instead, it shows up as a nagging feeling that something isn’t right, looming right underneath the surface. And all day we run from it – by incessantly texting on our iPhones, checking Facebook over & over, escaping our homes to meet our gal pals at the bar for a cute umbrella-drink. We do a lot of this, if not ALL of it, subconsciously.
Brach’s meditation encourages us to spend less than half an hour just LISTENING & TUNING INTO our own emotions. And NOT trying to change them, or wish them away.
Brach asks us to SAY YES to whatever we’re experiencing. Anxious? Say, “Yes, this too.” Tired? “Yes, this too.” Going ballistic over an impending deadline? “Yes, this too.” Tender heart stinging over a recent breakup or squabble? “Yes, this too.”
I’ve been trying this every day for about a week now. And the results have been miraculous. (And let me tell ya, being SILENT & STILL for 15 minutes sometimes feels like torture for such a fidgety, always-switched-on person like me.)
When we stop trying to CHANGE what we feel, what we feel CHANGES.
You don’t have to go out & buy Tara’s CD (but I totally recommend it, there’s TONS of other sweet ass meditations & eye-opening stories on it!) in order to experience this little moment of peace yourself. You can either do it intentionally, by setting aside 10-15 minutes everyday to get in touch with your true feelings, or you can try it in the moment – whenever a bad feeling creeps up on you, try to ACCEPT IT & ALLOW it to flow through your body.
That’s the thing about feelings. Just like everything in life, they’re transitory. They’re just energy, and although they hurt like hell in the moment, they too will pass. And if you ALLOW them to do their job – like bring to light the fact that you can’t stay in your semi-abusive relationship a minute longer or force you to face that deeply-embedded old wound that screams “NOBODY cares about you!” – they’ll leave you alone.
But, be warned: When you’re saying “Yes,” it’s not gonna feel good. It’s going to feel really freaking uncomfortable. You’re going to be able to feel it physically in your body. It might tickle, lightly caressing. Or it might STING, like you’ve been jacked right in the tummy.
But then, a funny thing will happen. As you bring down your walls & simply allow the totally raw feelings to settle into your body, everything will soften. And the feeling won’t feel so CRUSHING anymore. It might even dissolve completely.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, is that if I can’t find an answer to whatever is plaguing me, ACCEPTANCE is the true solution to whatever ails me.
I encourage you to stop & take notice next time you feel a gross wave of emotion threatening to pull you under.
I encourage you to LET IT.
…And then LET IT GO.
from my diary: on being human.
i don’t really think it’s about denying the human parts of myself anymore. i think it’s more about finding a balance – expressing the good human parts like sex, happiness, pleasure, while also learning not to dwell or believe too much in the bad human parts like jealousy and fear.
it’s not that we shouldn’t feel those things. we absolutely should feel everything. but i think we should learn to feel those things (however scary, unwelcome and sometimes unfounded they are)…and then to let them go.
xo
by Erica | Aug 18, 2013 | Inspiration, Mind, Spirit
We’ve all heard it a trillion times: Having a consistent morning routine/ritual that nourishes your body, mind and soul is imperative to living a life you love. Our morning – and, in fact, even those first few moments after we wake up – shapes our entire day.
But given that so many of us have such precious little time in the mornings, how do you know what to do that will make you look + feel your best, in the shortest amount of time possible?
Well, I think it’s a matter of trial-and-error, really. Every one of us is different, and some people will find certain things next to impossible to do when they first wake up. Like for me, I can’t imagine doing a strength training session first thing out of bed (and that’s not totally because I am a caffeine addict…although that may be part of it).
Below, I’ve rounded up six morning rituals that get (+ keep) me goin’ in the a.m.!
1. Lemon water.
When life gives you lemons, squeeze that shit into your water bottle & drink it! I am SO not a huge water drinker (although my cool little filtering water bottle has sort of changed that), so this hasn’t always been easy for me. However, hydration in the a.m. has made a huge difference in the way I feel all morning. Here’s a rapid fire list of reasons lemon water is the shizz; boosts your immune system, balances your pH levels, aids weight loss AND digestion, gives you beautiful, glowing skin, replenishes your vitamin C (which you lose if you’re stressed out all the time), makes your breath smell nice AND can help coffee drinkers break the habit. Still working on that last one.
2. Fasted cardio.
OK, so the medical field can’t agree whether this one is beneficial for fat loss or not. But that aside, I do know this: Getting my cardio out of the way in the morning – aka before I even really know what’s going on – is the ONLY way I can do it. I usually jog for 25-30 minutes on the treadmill at a steady pace, and about halfway through I find myself jazzed up, feeling (semi) alive and rocking out to whatever tunes I’ve picked for the day. It’s more about mental clarity and energy for me than fat loss anyway, but if you ARE looking to shed extra weight, take note: At least some health peeps agree doing cardio in a fasted state (4 or more hours after eating) is optimal for fat loss. This isn’t because the amount of calories burned changes whether you’ve eaten or not, but because when you’re fasted, your body gets it’s energy from stored fats RATHER than the sexy pre-workout meal you smashed two hours prior.
3. Mindfulness Meditation.
Meditation has TRULY saved me in so many ways. It’s helped IMMENSELY with the following: Generalized Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Codependency and overall low self esteem. Everybody has their own preference when it comes to meditation styles, but my fave type is mindfulness. I am ALWAYS worried about something, and it’s truly amazing what 5-20 minutes of FOCUSING ON THE MOMENT can do for a girl’s sanity. For me, it’s easiest to focus on sounds. Just take a second to listen. Can you BELIEVE that many dang birds are chirping ALL THE TIME?
If you’re new to meditation, I recommend trying a GUIDED version. I’ll be releasing some of my own soon (yippee!), but a quick search on YouTube will bring up some fun results. I just DON’T recommend doing a relaxation meditation in the morning…for obvious reasons. 🙂
Also this quick 5-minute energy balancing exercise works wonders.
4. Affirmations.
I gotta be real with you. I am NOT a natural optimist. Even worse, I have TERRIBLE morning anxiety. When I first jump out of bed, my brain is on serious overload. One of the best ways to soothe my wired nerves is to force-feed ’em positive affirmations. Just like using the crowding out principle when it comes to losing weight (read: introduce more healthy foods rather than taking away the things you love – more on that later!), I have found the easiest way to stay positive is to ADD positive thoughts rather than try to battle my (automatic) negative ones.
My faves affirms?
+ “Erica, you’re doing a great job. I’m proud of you. You’re safe.”
+ “I am calm, peaceful and confident.”
+ and the uber-simple, “Today is going to be a great day.”
I have lots of these printed out, written on notecards AND programmed into my phone to go off at random times throughout the day.
Find what works for you. Affirmations are personal – they should always speak right to your soul. (That’s also the only way your brain will believe them, anyway!)
5. Morning Pages
You guys, seriously, if you don’t journal – you need to start. Like, yesterday. ‘Morning pages’ is a concept introduced in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. Cameron asks you to write 3, unfiltered, uncensored pages a day, preferably right when you wake up, as a way to unblock your creativity. It turns out that when we have a bunch of stuff on our minds, it keeps our creative energy stuck. I call my morning pages my “brain dump” and that’s really what I do – write down WHATEVER I’m thinking, without editing. I use the online application 750words.com. Three pages is approximately 750 words, and for me, it’s easier to type than write with paper + pen, but you should experiment and find what works for you. Even if you don’t consider yourself a writer, or aren’t “creatively blocked,” you’ll be amazed at the clarity and awareness you’ll find from a little morning journalling.
6. Green smoothies.
I love eating healthy, but getting in the amount of greens we should isn’t always easy. Green smoothies, however, are the EPITOME of EASY. I’ve finally perfected my morning smoothie recipe, and I also whip it up if I find myself experiencing hanger (yes, hunger + anger) pangs throughout the day.
My recipe includes:
+ A big ass handful of spinach
+ One banana
+ One half small cucumber, sliced
+ One cup blueberries
+ One cup raspberries
+ Coconut milk (the amount depends on how thick or “creamy” I want it to be that day)
+ Water and stevia to taste
Blend and let sit in freezer, or add ice cubes. Voila! Try it for a week and just try to tell me you don’t notice a difference. In fact, I think I’m going to go make myself one right now!
Your Turn!
I love hearing about how other people live their lives, and morning routines FASCINATE me. Do you have a routine you’d like to share? What do you HAVE to do everyday in order to function at your best? Share your morning routine with us in the comments – you might just have a genius idea that could benefit all of us!
by Erica | Aug 6, 2013 | Uncategorized
I often find I get the best ideas while running, or in the shower (both places I can’t conveniently stash a pen and paper, natch). Here’s my latest.
Everything is an energy exchange. In order to GET what you want, you have to be willing to GIVE.
(Click to tweet!)
Now I know this sounds painfully simple in theory. I’ve actually heard other people make similar testaments many times. But for some reason, when I really sat and marinated on this one, it was like the clouds parted and a beam of insight smacked me right in the head.
I’m not gonna lie: Growing up labeled a “gifted” child didn’t do much in the way of teaching me that sometimes life requires hard work. I thought I was innately talented, and “smart” and therefore, exempt from the struggles those other “non-gifted” humans had to undertake.
Mostly, it was true. I didn’t struggle with math or reading or science quizzes. But as I got older and real life things – like, you know, the slowing of my metabolism and (gasp!) TAXES – started to become important, things shifted.
I started to struggle just like everybody else.
And because I had been sheltered from it for so long, it hurt like fucking hell.
Alas, I still rode around on my high horse. I thought, “I have TALENT! I’m SMART! Everything in life is going to work out perfectly for me and I’m not going to have to lift a finger.”
But then weeks, months and years started to fly by. And then my 25th birthday hit. I wasn’t a national best selling author. I wasn’t running a successful, six figure blog. I wasn’t hobnobbing with the best dressed in my city and riding around in a (preferably, silver) BMW. I didn’t have an uber-hot, wildly rich boyfriend who worked some high-profile job and who handed me cash like candy (actually, I was dating a guy who handed me dollar bills, but let’s just say he didn’t make them wearing a suit. If you catch my drift.)
And you know why?
BECAUSE I WASN’T WORKING FOR IT.
Sure, I was working. I do have bills, you know. (Yet another thing I’m definitely NOT exempt from.) But I wasn’t WORKING. I wasn’t throwing my all into it. In fact, I was half-assing a lot of things.
I mean, I loved my job as a celebrity gossip blogger (who wouldn’t?), but I wasn’t obsessed with it the way I felt I should be. (And seriously, what kind of contribution was I making to the world bashing Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage over and over?) I’d skip out on extra work in favor of one of those cute little umbrella drinks and/or a fat, stuffed taco on Tuesdays. I was drinking a lot, and therefore not waking up on time to crank out my stories. I was also not doing pretty much anything in the way of building my so-called business. I was dabbling in holding a few different clients at a time, but I wasn’t giving it my all.
And looking for a suitable man?
Fuhgeddaboutit!
Yet I still had this weird belief that one day it would all just happen.
I’d just wake up and suddenly be a totally different person with a totally different life.
Oh, what a difference a year makes!
I realize now that it’s all about taking the little steps. And more than that, it’s about BEING WILLING TO GIVE OF YOURSELF IN ORDER TO GET THE LIFE YOU WANT.
As I learned in my senior capstone class in undergrad on science fiction: There aint no such thing as a free lunch, baby.
So next time you’re facing a challenge, I challenge you to ask yourself:
How much am I willing to give to get this?
‘This’ could be anything – the nice abs, the cushy job in the corner office, the love of your life.
Think of it as an energy exchange and it should feel better when you make sacrifices to get the things you want. In fact, scrap the word “sacrifice” from your vocab.
Nothing is a sacrifice if you want it bad enough.
(And as we all know, energy likes like energy. If you’re putting out positive stuff, you WILL get it back. It’s, like, science, man.)
Here’s a process to go through next time you’re faced with a situation that feels like it requires you to make a sacrifice:
// 1. Ask yourself, “How bad do I want this?” If the answer’s not “really fucking bad,” move on. Or come to terms with the fact that you might not get whatever it is you’re after.
// 2. Then, ask yourself, “What am I willing to GIVE of myself to GET this result?” Are you willing to GIVE an hour of your time to the universe, in order to prepare yourself a fresh, nutritious meal? Are you willing to GIVE all your energy to this workout, so you can feel accomplished, strong and be that much healthier? Are you willing to GIVE $100 for a hot new pair of heels? Am I willing to GIVE hours of my time to several different clients to help them reach their dreams, so that I can GET the freedom and lifestyle I want? (Oops – slipped into first person there. But I think you catch my drift.)
// 3. Decide. Do you want it bad enough? And do you realize that, unless you’re willing to GIVE, it won’t come to you ANY OTHER WAY? That, my dears, is the question.
Your Turn!
Let’s talk sacrifices. Er, um, energy exchanges. When was the last time you GAVE of yourself to GET what you wanted? Does thinking of it as energy rather than sacrifice help you make decisions? Spill, jill!
by Erica | Dec 4, 2012 | Inspiration
As entrepreneurs, it’s so easy to get caught up in what you don’t know + forget about what you do know.
Level with me here, ladies.
Do you often forget that what you do is an unthinkable, near-impossible act to someone else?
Do you dismiss yourself, downplaying the incredible fact that what you do – whatever you do – lights up another human’s life?
Or that it enables them (in the healthy, exciting, beautiful way – not the pre-Intervention way) to stop freaking out about at least one part of their life, so they can spend more quality time with their loved ones? (That’s not something to be taken lightly, at all.)
Do you shrug + say, “Why would anybody want to hire me anyway? There’s a million other people out there doing exactly what I do!”?
Quit that shit.
Own the value of what you do.
Nobody can do it like you, baby.
P.S. A little birdie told me my BOGO copywriting sales page wasn’t working properly last week. If you’re still interested in booking two sales pages for $105 or a sales page + bio for $105, e-mail me ASAP + I’ll get you scheduled!
copywriter for lady rebelles, trendy tastemakers + spiritual sellers.
